(My first attempt at fake news. Go easy on me.)
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that the government is looking at a number of engineers, geologists, and others as "persons of interest" with regard to their connection, if any, to the devastating hurricane Katrina, which has decimated the city of New Orleans and other portions of the Gulf Coast.
"This was a tragedy that was completely unexpected and unforseeable," Chertoff said in a press conference held earlier today. "And yet, our in-depth investigations have now uncovered documents in which several people, years before the fact, had predicted the coming of a hurricane, cited the specific area in which it would occur, and detailed almost exactly the kind of destruction that would follow. For these individuals to have such specific advance knowledge of what was to come, well, it raises our suspicions. That's all I can say."
Chertoff stated that those who are suspected of being involved will be held for questioning at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba. Officials there will attempt, "by any necessary means," to obtain information about any underground networks that may have been involved with the hurricane. "It is also vital to know what other attacks may be in the works," Chertoff added. "No effort is too extreme when it comes to protecting our country from those who may seek to harm us. The American public needs the security of knowing that no further totally unpredictable disasters threaten their safety."
Torture the truth out of them! Make them listen to the Best of Clay Aiken with the cd player set to loop!
Posted by: Lee | Monday, September 12, 2005 at 04:45 PM