Fellow citizens, I want to take a little time to describe to you my vision of the things I will accomplish in four years if you select me to be your leader.
I cannot guarantee that I will achieve these things, but I will recite them anyway because you deserve a leader who understands the power of positive affirmations as a public policy strategy. When I describe these goals, I will use present perfect tense verbs, so that you will feel as if they have already happened.
By the year 2013, America has become an idyllic place. The traffic jams that plague our roads have been vanquished, although we still suffer the lingering effects of the occasional stalled car in the slow lane. Earthquakes have been prevented, and we have daytime temperatures of 72 degrees year 'round.
I should probably reiterate that I cannot guarantee these results, but this is my vision.
Four years from now, there is no longer any place in the world that is a safe haven for talentless pop stars to plan their efforts to target our precious children.
Also, by 2013, our nation's single men have overcome their fear of commitment. They have learned how to recognize a good thing when they see it, and they are proposing to acceptable women by the fifth date or sooner. Russia and China are cooperating with us as well, resulting in the end of the worldwide man shortage. Adultery has also been eliminated (while there may be flare-ups at times, they are spasmodic and much reduced).
As I said before, these things are not guaranteed.
If you believe in these goals, then you want me to lead this country. Really, you do.
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